“ Anger needs to be a positive emotion “, is a remarkable dialogue that I came across in a regional movie. More often I have only come across statements that degrade anger as an emotion that spells doom and most rightly so. However on the flip side controlled anger or aggression prevails in real life situations. Any emotion that governs an individual can be used either as a constructive or destructive tool. The choice is ours.

Let me be clear that I m not in support of using anger as a tool to “ make things happen “. I to this day believe that “ Patience prevails  “ and patience is a virtue that the blessed possess. I find that in today’s world anger is creating hatred and leading to inhumane and insane acts unacceptable to mankind

However, not all of us are blessed with patience. After an act of insanity all we say is that “ We are human after all “. However behavior and temperament cannot be changed overnight. I also believe that basic emotions like anger or sorrow should never be suppressed, cause it could only turn worse with time.

It is seen at workplace, that more often “ soft ‘” people are considered timid and people who are “ Loud” and outspoken are considered as arrogant  and unfriendly .It is those who have a broad outlook towards life and possessing “ controlled aggression “, have their way with others. It is surprising but true that controlled anger for valid reasons works! If anger is employed as a positive emotion, it prevails!

In all our lives there comes a time, when we are unable to interpret the laws of human nature, which is more so profound in a shattered mind. When mind is shattered, the thoughts are scattered!

I look for solace, seeking answers, searching for a soothing balm to quell my aching heart. My mind dwells in the past rather than living in the present, such is the magnitude of that shattering moment.

We live a life of hope and expectation. Goodness in thought defines our lives, but the inevitable twists to a “rosy tale”, leaves behind scars. I am now dealing with a scar that has created a ripple effect of a deluge of emotions such as anger, frustration, betrayal and a bundle of unexplainable thoughts that intrude my restless mind. Amidst this mayhem, my hopelessly emotional soul seeks a reprieve.

It is a state of self-pity. For once I’m not sure of what I need to do. The overwhelming effect of the catastrophe has created a wavering mind. In the midst of handling the emotional trauma, I am unable to decide on my future course of action. It’s sheer hopelessness. I seek relief in the frivolous advice freely given by others. Every word of advice creates a new tangent to the already sophisticated problem. My thoughts are running wild. Pain and a lack of clarity in thought transports me into a world of illusion, where I begin to consider the improbable. I’m torn apart.

They say that the best way to overcoming a tragedy is to live through it. I have little choice, but to live with it! With every passing moment I begin to steadily drown in a pool of ‘self created sorrow’. I simply submit myself to fate – It was probably bound to happen.

As I dwell over the unfortunate event, my mind reaches a tipping point, where it fails to absorb any further stress. I walk down the street, to sip a cup of tea. A mundane task to deviate my self-indulgent soul. As a gulp of hot tea trickles down my throat, I feel better. For once, I begin to enjoy the warmth of tea. It’s an intentional approach to deviate my shattered mind. The effect is short lived. In a few minutes I’m back to being my sulking self.

As I return home that evening, my mind is still embroiled in sketching my story of self-defeat. My mother at once unravels my state of mind. A question is all it takes, for me to shed my share of grief. We sit at length discussing the issue. She doesn’t advice, she never does. As we speak, my rational mind slowly begins to recover from deep slumber. I for once start to think. It’s encouraging and life is less painful. After a long conversation with my mother, I slowly begin to create affirmative solutions to my shattering problem. My heart still aches, but I have begun to live with it. There is a realisation that I need to deal with it. I begin to gather my scattered thoughts. An ounce of motivation from my mother and I reaffirm the belief in myself.

As I retire to bed that night, I am still hurt but geared to handle the problem. There is a sense of growing confidence, stemmed by anger. An emotional mind can also be a source of motivation. I realise that this experience has only strengthened my resolve to prove my mettle!

When the mind is shattered, feel the pain, understand your emotions and resolve to fight back.

It’s not great to feel shattered, but there are some such dark moments that may define our lives. We need to face it and emerge victorious.

I leave you behind with a quote by Confucius, The Chinese Philosopher:

“ Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall”.

Arise from the dust like a phoenix and thou shall define the resilience of the human spirit!

The mind wavers. There is a specific goal and the method to achieve it is clear, yet the mind wavers because of stray thoughts that intrude my emotional soul. The human brain is funny; many a times it complicates simple matters. I have been working towards a goal. All I need to do is focus on delivering my best, yet certain unpleasant experiences of the past pervade my mind, creating an analysis of the possible results. The permutations and combinations of the possible end results are being analyzed, eliminating ‘lower risk ‘factors and creating a three dimensional possibility of the various results.

The analysis is complex. The various possibilities make life seem like hell. It seems discouraging and the world biased. You still need to survive in this biased world and achieve your goal. I begin to plan my route map of accomplishing the same, accounting for the various “expected human traits” that I would need to encounter during the course of my endeavour. The mind is now suddenly filled with inhibitions. I begin to grow insecure, considering the ‘ifs’ and ‘buts’. I’m suddenly low on confidence, shattered to say the least.

The same goal, the same objective, but now a deluge of frivolous emotions begin to act as deterrents in my path. I’m now a very different person, creating a world of insecurity, which never existed.

The mind many a times plays the devil’s advocate, sowing seeds of doubt. The desire to be successful in our endevour supersedes the basic principle of ‘giving your best and forgetting the rest’.

In life, we cannot control many extrinsic factors. We cannot ascertain the final result. Unpredictability is the essence of life. It adds zing and energy to an otherwise mundane life. The uncontrollable forces will continue to govern the final outcome of any endeavour.

It’s natural and human to think of various possibilities. The wavering mind can sometimes spring new ideas in life. However, when we have a goal in sight, a task at hand and a mission to accomplish, the wavering mind, needs to be ignored like it never existed.

I begin to recoup, gathering my rationale. Every outcome has a reason. I decide to give it my best and believe in the universal principle that a conscious effort always gives dividends. The wavering mind sometimes conspires to creates a garbage bin, that’s worth being dumped in no mans land.

When the mind wavers, remain calm and let the storm die an eventual death. Think about the process, positive results will follow!

The very thought of meeting her estranged friend after years brought back nostalgic memories of those wonderful moments that had defined their lives. They had spent the prime of their youth together, in the same hostel room, sharing those little niggling secrets that failed to remain concealed within the ‘naughty heart’. Those were the days, when life was filled with mirth and bliss, and every man who passed their path, glared at their intoxicating beauty. They were the best of friends till one day, the strong emotional connect manifested itself into a fireball of mutual hatred. It was an unforgettable day, when their little insecurities snowballed into a controversy resulting in anger, mistrust, hatred and separation. It was the last time they shared a parting glance, to exist in a world ‘ignorant of the other’.

It was now over a decade. With passing time, their anger had turned into emotional pain. Both were deeply hurt at the unfortunate turn of events. There was a sense of regret that remained camouflaged due to their flaring ego. Both were unwilling to ‘give-up’ on their stance- “I’m right’, so they thought, but in true friendship there was never a ‘right’ or a ‘wrong’. There were days when Mona would sob in bed, unable to conceal her pain-‘the greater the attachment, the greater the pain in separation’.
With time, both got busy in their respective lives, creating a world for themselves. ‘It’s a forgotten chapter’ they convinced themselves, yet the niggling pain of separation would promptly pop up during moments of elation, diminishing the joy of a profound moment of success. During those good old days, a moment of elation would translate to an exaggerated conversation that lasted through the night. They shared life within the dingy confines of their little room.

Mona sat along the window of the car, feeling the warm breeze of the mid-summer afternoon. It was ages since she met her dear friend Reema. After years of defiance, she had finally mustered her courage to make amends. “It’s so silly to have fought that day”, she thought.

Maturity and a broader understanding of life today, made her feel foolish to have parted ways over trivial issues. It took years of coaxing and ‘ego-appeasement ‘to take this long ride to meet her friend. A mixture of emotions engulfed her mind. The possible reaction by Reema, on seeing her, was stirring an internal tsunami of possibilities. Unmindful of the disturbing heat, she kept gazing out of the window, staring at the passing fields like an aimless mind. Deep within were a deluge of emotions -fear, apprehension, pain and a tinge of happiness for having finally made a decision to meet her best friend.

Her car came to a grinding halt and she continued to gaze out of the window. A moment of unanticipated silence is all it took to bring her back to her senses. She was finally there, only a couple of moments that separated the two friends. It was a surprise visit and Mona only hoped that the visit wouldn’t turn sour. For a moment, she felt like asking her driver to retrace the path. After a moment of profound introspection, she finally mustered her courage and slowly stepped out of the car. Every step forward, was like an arduous walk up the mountain terrain. Her fingers gently pressed the calling bell. The soothing music of the bell pierced the hall. These were anxious moments of anticipation. The door slowly creaked open and a servant girl promptly struck her head out.

“Who’s it? “, came a voice.

“Reema? “, she gently replied, not knowing what to tell.
The servant girl disappeared to call her “Memsahib”, unable to infer an answer.

Mona stood in lonely bliss, gazing at the chirping birds, atop the roadside tree.

“ Mon..a” , a voice broke out .There was a moment of blankness. It was a familiar voice, a voice that she had cherished to hear.

She looked around and their eyes met. The two gazed at each other, overwhelmed by the gravity of the moment. There was a prolonged moment of silence.

Would there be an outburst of inflated emotions?

Mona stood anticipating the worst. She was for once reminded of that unforgiving day.

The hanging wall clock, promptly rang the ‘hour bell’, bringing both back to their senses.

Reema slowly broke into a hesitant smile. There were unexplainable emotions of joy and regret. She had been waiting for this day since ages. She didn’t know what to say.

“You have put on weight”, she finally blurted.

“So have you “, replied Reema in a heavy voice.

In a moment, the pile of inhibition was shattered by words of irrelevance.

The two friends hugged each other in a moment of ‘reconciliatory bliss’. Tears rolled down those feminine cheeks, shedding their emotions that had wrecked havoc all these years. These were moments of infinite and indescribable joy.

In a while, the two were back to their witty best, cracking jokes on the foolish acts of their yesteryears. It never seemed they had parted ways.

God alone knew, what kept them away this long.

Relationships are bound to have differences; it is for us to bridge the gap.

Life is too small to crib over yesterday’s and worry about tomorrow’s.

Make a difference in your life, by bridging the gap with your loved ones!

Life thrives on trust. You wish to believe in the people you interact with. They make your world; they give meaning to your life. Belief in people instills a confidence that you’re heading the right way, till one fine day, the bridge of trust collapses in the midst of a political hurricane. Your anguished, devastated, betrayed, only to realize that the bridge never existed in realty.

“It’s a Corporate World, people play their cards”, is so often heard. The fact however is, if you believe in your ability, you need not “play cards”.

Politics is often attributed as a mind game of placing your pawn at the right place. It is today considered a norm and largely accepted to be politically oriented at any organization. The very creation of ‘groups’ is attributed to the affiliation needs of an individual. Being associated with a group provides you with certain ‘fringe benefits’, aiding in developing a likeability factor. Groups are formed in order to drive ‘common goals’, however in reality it’s about exploiting vested interests-the weakling gets mauled. Irrespective of the outcome, people still love to remain associated with a group, because of the fear of being estranged. Loneliness is a grave disease.

We all seek attention. We need someone to listen to our grievances and feel hurt the most when the person we confided in ‘spills the beans’. There are times in each of our lives, when we are overwhelmed with the reality of life. Every time I have felt betrayed, I have learnt a lot. Life is a learning curve, you learn from your mistakes!

In a corporate world, anything sly is probably possible, but look at the positive side of life. Relationships in any organization are built on trust. Trust is created by our very actions. Our virtues define our character. It is our “brand” that sells. There are always certain ‘popular names’ in an organization that command respect. Such people are known for their value system and not their political affiliations. It is time tested that the best of organizations, that have survived the “winds of change” have had a resounding value system. Goodness still thrives in this complex world.

To survive the political storm, you need to stick to the basics. Firstly be true to yourself, do good and believe in your abilities. It is integrity that stands good in the long run. The swirling winds of politics may cause a stumble, but will never lead to your downfall. As I often say “No person can snatch away your god gifted ability”. Swaying to the political winds is only digging your own grave.

There are times in each of our lives when we need to feel confident enough to stand alone and decide what we want to make of our lives.

Trust thy self; the world shall be at thy feet!

The sultry heat on a midsummer afternoon is a depiction of sun god’s prowess on the petty human souls and the barren land that is being baked by his glowing furnace. I stood along the payment of the construction site, analyzing the changing dynamics of realty (that’s my profession). I dreaded this visit. The minute I stepped out of the cozy confines of my air-conditioned car, I was profusely sweating. In a minute I was soaked in a deluge of body fluids that ceaselessly flowed from every minute pore, like a ruptured pipe. I looked up, gazing at the concrete jungle to find skeletal figures working atop the roof, hundreds of feet high- it is a merciless profession and the very sight was painful.

You work all day long, with a mixture of bricks, sand and stones, bearing the brunt of the torturing heat. As you retire for the day, your choking unable to resist the side effects of the “construction world”. The life of construction workers are like nomadic tribes, loitering from place to place in search of work. A shaky hut, instantly resurrected amidst the chaos, is a home for many. While the ‘localities’ have the freedom to stray away from the site, the ‘exported workers’ who make their way to the cities in search of a living, survive within the dusty confines of their project.
Every construction site has it’s share of mishaps that are conveniently camouflaged like a stray injury, that was never to be. Engrossed in providing a exquisite finish to their work, many have had a free bungee jump, slipping off the roof, never to return again. For those who live to die another day-The show must go on.

As I stepped into the compound, it was a familiar sight of dust, din and animated orders being yelled out by the supervisor. My presence brought back a crafted smile that had long gone missing. He quickly offered me a helmet, showcasing ‘highly maintained’ security standards. I research the changing dynamics of the realty market and am seldom out there at the site – a mechanical engineer would terribly fail at analyzing the intricacies of concrete! However the last two and a half years had thought me the reality of realty.

As I made my way to the top, the supervisor continued to chatter of the world-class facilities that would adorn each floor. In deep contrast, I saw workers struggling to survive in the unforgiving heat. Once completed, this piece of craftsmanship would merely be a spectacle for them, completely out of bounds. After the work is completed, they ‘disown’ their child, as they move on to seek another job. Years later, when these ‘monuments’ become landmarks in the city, they stand along the sidewalks, silently admiring their exquisite piece of art.

I stood atop the 12th floor of the complex, admiring the scenic views of my ever-changing city, as each tower was competing with the other, to stamp it’s sign of ‘vertical dominance’. As I casually peeped down, the world seemed miniature in size, with microscopic vehicles speeding on the highway. The very thought of a free fall from here, sent a shiver down my spine.” Ignorance is Bliss”, I convinced my provocative mind, as I stepped back from the fringes.

In another few minutes I was back to the ground floor, busy discussing the completion date of this ‘concrete marvel’. My phone buzzed and I casually walked away when a little child, caught my eye. She must have been 2 years old. She lay amidst the heap of sand, digging her tiny hands deep into the fine grains. Unmindful of sun god’s vengeance, she remained in her world of blissful ignorance. This wasn’t the first time she was out there in the scorching heat. It seemed she had befriended the sun god’s warmth, as she playfully indulged in dirtying her torn attire. Her nose continued to flow ceaselessly, as she carelessly enjoyed her ‘joyful world’ of dust and stones.
I looked around, and there wasn’t a single soul in sight. Her mother was probably a worker in the project, who had left her in this “sand crèche”, while she went about earning a living. The little child smiled at me. It was alien for her to have visitors. She seemed thrilled at seeing me. Her sparkling smile, brought back a cheer on my face. Children are god’s gift, they are magical. A little smile has a soothing effect, calming your reckless nerves in a moment. She was refreshingly different. Beyond her shabby attire and unkempt self was a charming soul, endearing her ‘alien visitor’.
I stood admiring her beauty, whilst answering the phone, when in an absurd moment of insanity, I was thrown away by the magnitude of a huge thud. There was a moment of blankness, as I grappled with the situation. I lay on the ground, unable to interpret the cause of this jolt, when cries of concern echoed the air. As I recouped, I remembered the endearing soul that had captivated my senses. Mustering my diminishing courage, I rose from the ground, to notice a maddening crowd rushing to the heap of sand. The crowd was heading towards her. My heart skipped a beat, as I limped forward. There were cries of a concerned mother. My mind conceived the worst, my heart detested the same –these were indefinable moments of anxiety.

At a distance, I again saw the same endearing smile, in the hands of a wailing mother. The little one continued to smile, as her mother cried in relief. She continued to be in her world of ignorance, unaware of a probable tragedy. Her innocence sparkled amidst the mayhem.

A pile of steel slabs had fallen off the roof, landing right beside her. It was god’s act of retaining some blissful innocence in this complex world. After enquiring of her well-being, as I headed towards my car, the world on it’s part dispersed leaving the mother to tend to her priceless soul. The mother would have to leave her again on the heap of sand, while she went about earning a living.

Imagine a little child all of 2 years, surviving in a world of dust, sand and stones. Do we call it fate or an innocent fight for survival?
Some souls are born to fight for survival; she blissfully continues her fight in the concrete jungle!

“My name is Khan and Iam not a terrorist”, a relevant message, but sadly not compelling enough. My name is Khan is a movie, with its heart in the right place but lacks the conviction and power to steer up your emotions.

The movie from the Karan Johar camp is refreshingly different, as the director adopts a simplistic approach in dealing with a pertinent issue. The director goes beyond his trademark Grandeur and traditional family drama to describe the journey of the protagonist; an Aspergers patient, Rizwan Khan, who sets out to meet the president of the United States of America. The biggest problem with the movie is the fact that the very intent or message dilutes in the narrative. Whether the movie is a “Redemption of Love” or a “Journey for Righteousness” is left unanswered.

The movie begins on a refreshing note. The difference in screenplay is visible as the director swiftly gets into the life of Rizwan Khan and his journey to the USA. The subtle humour, varied mannerism and refreshing innocence of the protagonist hold your attention. The wonderful background score and the screen presence of the lovable Shah Rukh Khan-Kajol pair is an enjoyable fare. However an hour later you realise, that the plot of the movie is yet to unveil. As Rizwan Khan aimlessly travels from town to town, narrating is life, your left to the mercy of too many characters who converge to create a story. It is at the interval your left with a thought that the journey is because of a personal tragedy being meted out post the terror attacks of 9/11-all because of being a Khan.

The weakest link in the movie is it’s very script. The second half is entirely flawed as the director goes about describing the events in Rizwan Khan’s life post 9/11. I wish the director had adopted a more genuine approach in describing the plight of Asians post this incident. Dates have been conveniently construed in a manner to suit the narrative. The movie calls for a compelling narrative and a powerful message but sadly lacks all of it . The movie runs out on ideas as the director “fits together” various incidents. The hurricane in Willamina, the media campaign against discrimination of Muslims/Sikhs  and a mothers  valiant fight for redemption are all clobbered together  to drive the movie towards a climax.

The movie despite it’s flaws is a watchable fare, with some magical moments and wonderful messages scattered across the narrative. The church scene of   “Hum Honge Kamiyab” nicely entwined with “We shall overcome” is a treat to watch. Kajol delivers an earnest performance, though the script fails to sketch a powerful feminine character. A special mention of Zarina Wahab , who plays Rizwan’s mother. She does a commendable job, delivering a heart warming performance..

The movie is entirely shouldered by Shah Rukh Khan, who doesn’t disappoint. Khan has reinvented himself to deliver a subtle, measured and yet so graceful performance. The sheer simplicity, innocence and the screen presence of this Badshah revel even at times when the script goes awry. My Name is Khan; Shah Rukh Khan- the movie solely works because of him.

My Name is Khan is a movie that could have transcended barriers of social evil and had the potential to transform the thought process that plagues our society. Sadly, it remains just another movie that showcases the prowess of a versatile Shah Rukh Khan.

I recommend you watch this movie, once (not at a premium!) for the wonderful performance of its protagonist and a relevant message it tries to convey.

He stood admiring her beauty, unmindful of the maddening crowd. His eyes remained glued to her, while she was gossiping her way to glory, amongst a bunch of girls. She was bubbly, enigmatic and filled with character. The little lumps of flesh on her rosy cheeks blossomed like a flower, each time she blushed. These were moments of ecstasy. There was an unexplainable connect he established with this feminine soul that stood across the street, waiting for the signal to turn red. He felt like he had known her for ages and had been waiting for this blissful moment all his life.

Unaware of a pair of gazing eyes, she continued to chatter breaking into an animated conversation, expressing her natural grace and mannerism, with spurts of heavenly laughter-It was the free spirit of a lively teenager. She was no means a “model figure” .She was gracefully flawed, giving character to her very existence. He remained absorbed admiring her face. The large eyeballs oscillated like a pendulum, in an effort to appease both friends who stood on either side. The subtle glances, to acknowledge their presence were like the motions of a classical dancer. She for once spoke with her eyes.

He was immersed in an ocean of fascination. He had spent all his life, amidst the choicest of cosmopolitan woman, neglecting the most coveted beauties in town without a sense of concern. They were flawless in looks, trained to the hilt in mannerism, enough to drive any young man into a nomad. Yet they had never troubled him. He would always “glance and forget”, like he had never seen them. This time around there was a magnetic power that held his thoughts, emotions and a restless body. He craved to be beside her; there was a growing impatience building up within him. Yet, he knew that they were still strangers- two human souls in a berserk city crowd.

He quickly glanced to check the timer. There were 27 seconds left. His time was limited. He cursed his luck. He had little time to rue over fate. He looked at her again, hoping to establish an eye contact. With every passing second, he seemed to be intoxicated in her beauty, when suddenly she noticed him staring at her. Typical of a woman, she looked away in disgust, in order to ward away this everyday phenomenon. He cared little. True love is void of ego and any response from her end was like feeding a parched soul with droplets of water. To him, they were gracious looks of heavenly bliss. She continued to look away aimlessly, but yet she couldn’t avoid that innocent face. He was different from all those men who had looked at her with awe and envy. She gently glanced across and he stood still captivated in admiring the “Mona Lisa”.

The signal turned red, and the impatient crowd were on the street, crossing each other’s paths as they headed to their destinations. She slowly stepped on to the street, unconsciously slowing her pace to capture those magnanimous moments. She intermittently looked into his eyes; otherwise staring at the dusty street while her friends continued their ‘never ending ‘conversation.

He remained on the footpath, unmindful of the traffic signal. He was following the signals of life-before him was the woman of his destiny. As she closed in, he gently turned his head to visualise her concealed emotions. Her face remained firm, while her heart swayed to the motions of love. He gently smiled at her, while she continued to hold back her feelings. She gave him an ‘angry look’, while in reality she was deeply engrossed in admiring his “ cute face”. Unmindful of her resistance, he stood in lonely bliss, while the crowd had crossed the street. She was only a few feet away, as she turned her back, heading to her destination. She seemed to be going farther away from him, and his heart was beating hard.

It seemed like they were being separated after ages. She continued to walk down the alley, while he stood in sheer hopelessness. The signal turned green and the vehicles sped like a bunch of cattle set free. As he glanced to have a final look of this diminishing beauty, he noticed those large eyeballs looking at him. Lumps of flesh on the cheeks slowly blossomed into a flower. It was a moment of ecstasy. Two souls spoke the language of love, as they parted ways at the traffic signal.

It was his moment of redemption. They were destined to meet; they would meet again. When two souls speak the language of love, the world is too small a place to keep them away. It was a blissful, defining moment!

Each of our lives are filled with these little blissful moments of redemption that give meaning to an otherwise mundane life.

It was well past 12 in the night and for a moment she felt a sudden surge of insecurity in the darkness of the club. The dim lights flashing across the room, made her feel secure in the obscure world, lest ‘known faces’ notice her. With every sip of Vodka, she felt the ominous presence of her father. She blurted apologies, falling on her knees, begging forgiveness, while her colleagues joined her emotional outcry, spilling beer as “One sane soul consoled the other”. Her father had been a disciplinarian, with strongly rooted values. With every sip of the drink, there was a growing sense of guilt and in order to overcome her pain she gulped a large at one go. She profusely cried like a child, while the loud music and darkness, camouflaged her emotions. It was insane, but she wanted to be insane to vent her concealed emotions of being in an estranged world.

She was being a “put on” since the time she landed in this city of opportunities. There was a sense of being the ‘chosen one’, when she set foot. With time, the whirlwind of sophistication had swept her away. She now took pride in being one amongst the “Gen-X”- It was cool, happening and the”in-thing”. The corporate world was all a ‘put on ‘, she convinced herself. It was a necessary evil and she was accustomed to her habits, which seemed awkward and disgusting a couple of years ago, when she viewed the world from her little town. She was now a ‘city girl ‘, she had always dreamt of being one. Her simple parents took pride in her status of being a graduate, employed with an MNC- a tag to fetch her “well-educated “groom. She cared little for marriage. He had begun to love her newfound freedom.

With passing time, she hoped to get home, but the soothing liquor and her coveted friends kept her hooked. As a friend filled the glass, she resisted, but the compelling voices forced her into another drink. She was dazed and the world seemed to be revolving at lightning speed. The flashing lights were blinding and there was an uneasy sensation of an internal hurricane. She held back her feelings, in an effort to prevent an exhibition of her drunken state. Moments later there was an upsurge, as she threw up on the floor, sending her friends into a tizzy, each examining the state of their attire. She fumbled her way to the restroom, to tidy herself. There was a tinge of shame, but in her intoxicated state she had little control over her senses. After an animated apology, it was well past 2 am when she slowly crept back into her friend’s car. “Drop me home, my sweeett home” she blabbered, as the world turned dark.

A vigorous shake and a frustrated yell, brought back some sense .She dragged her out, bidding a vociferous farewell, to the speeding car. As she got to gate, she noticed a human figure seated besides the door. There was a moment of apprehension and fear. Mustering her diminishing courage she blurted

“Who’s it?”

A wrinkled old lady slowly appeared. She seemed familiar. Even in an intoxicated state, no one forgets his or her mother. Her mother had travelled day long from the town to stay with her beloved daughter for a few days

“Why are you here? “She yelled, trying to conceal her mountain of guilt. She felt awkward, disgusted and shattered. She never wanted her mother to see her in this state.

Her mom quietly unlatched the door, as silent drops wetted her cheeks. There was an uneasy silence. They never spoke again that night. Two minds were wide-awake in bed, dealing with varied emotions-one of guilt, the other of shock and disbelief.

Don’t be a ‘put on’ (fake); It never helps your cause!

The mind is agitated, emotions are running high. The very thought of being wronged-offended-hurt erupts an internal volcano that aggravates with time. Thoughts of politicization and distrust begin to take shape. Your angry, beyond bounds that you wish to remain aloof. It seems the world is against you and the person in question will never be forgiven. You wish to return the ‘favour’, by giving him a piece of your mind. There is a sense of insult that brews within you.

“He shall never be spared”, you convince yourself.

The very moment that you felt insulted keeps replaying in slow motion creating an ‘animated motion picture’ within your mind. It is a moment when the emotions take complete control of you. The rational half remains a mute spectator, unable to find space in an agitated mind, that it gives up without a fight.

Emotions always create expressions. Your face is somber, eyes red in anger, the tip of your ear is steaming and in a moment of insanity you express your anger on the people around you, without even realizing the consequences of your action. Every object in sight is now a tool to express your furor.

The cell phone that lies besides you seems inviting. You contemplate ‘immediate action’ to appease your agitated self.
“What does he think of me? “, you aimlessly question.

Unable to tolerate it any further, you punch in the inevitable number of the ‘offender’, the keypad bearing the brunt of your growing anger. The line is busy and nothing seems to be going your way. Frustrated with life, you bang the cell phone on the ground to see it disintegrate into parts. There is a moment of sudden silence, when the world stands still. The cell phone lies on the ground. The thought of having destroyed thousands in a flash arouses a moment of guilt. You gather the parts in a jiffy, placing the displaced battery in its rightful space. As the finger presses the “On” button, there is a moment of animated suspense, when you hope for the best. Thankfully a “welcome” pops us, relieving you of the momentary anxiety. You sigh in relief, but yet are unable to come-to-terms with the ill doing. Mixtures of emotions rule your mind. Life seems complex and unforgiving. You’re totally “switched off’ from your surroundings, like a lonely soul deserted in a dense jungle of deceit.

As you contemplate the line of action, your ‘god sent’ friend walks in. The minute you see him, you spill out your frustration, anger and disappointment at the unfortunate turn of events. Like a saint, he sits quiet, absorbing all the aggression in order to calm your senses, to appease the agitated mind. After five minutes of your discourse, he calmly replies
“Why do you bother about him? You have your own identity, thought and are the best decision maker “
The words are a morale booster. It soothes your mind.
“He speaks sense”, you tell yourself” Why care for such frivolous souls”

There is a sudden sense of complete sanity. The rational in you, slowly begins to claw its way back.

“Let’s chat over tea”, he suggests

You agree at once. With every sip of tea the senses slowly begin to function in a desired manner with the mind in an analytical mode, contemplating the next step forward. The rational steps in, providing its views for any question raised by the “not so agitated” mind. Finally you arrive at a solution to the thought that has been troubling you since long. You’re now convinced that a measured and timely reply to your ‘offender’ would be a befitting answer to the problem. Happy at having arrived at sensible solution, you for once unwind and enjoy the cool breeze blowing against your face.
Till a moment ago, life was upside down, such are the thoughts induced in an agitated mind.

When the mind is agitated, you feel offended and are upset – borrow time and express your feelings to a friend/confidant. Only react to the situation once you’re certain of your decision, because you’re judged solely by your actions.

Time is the best healer!