The mind is shattered. An unexpected change, an unexpected viewpoint, an unexpected result. I’m yet to come to terms with a certain action that has inflicted a wound that seems to aggravate with time. Varied thoughts lay scattered in my disoriented mind. It’s a moment of grief when I’m unable to decipher an answer. I’m for once feeling really low that my rational fails to cope with my emotional soul.
In all our lives there comes a time, when we are unable to interpret the laws of human nature, which is more so profound in a shattered mind. When mind is shattered, the thoughts are scattered!
I look for solace, seeking answers, searching for a soothing balm to quell my aching heart. My mind dwells in the past rather than living in the present, such is the magnitude of that shattering moment.
We live a life of hope and expectation. Goodness in thought defines our lives, but the inevitable twists to a “rosy tale”, leaves behind scars. I am now dealing with a scar that has created a ripple effect of a deluge of emotions such as anger, frustration, betrayal and a bundle of unexplainable thoughts that intrude my restless mind. Amidst this mayhem, my hopelessly emotional soul seeks a reprieve.
It is a state of self-pity. For once I’m not sure of what I need to do. The overwhelming effect of the catastrophe has created a wavering mind. In the midst of handling the emotional trauma, I am unable to decide on my future course of action. It’s sheer hopelessness. I seek relief in the frivolous advice freely given by others. Every word of advice creates a new tangent to the already sophisticated problem. My thoughts are running wild. Pain and a lack of clarity in thought transports me into a world of illusion, where I begin to consider the improbable. I’m torn apart.
They say that the best way to overcoming a tragedy is to live through it. I have little choice, but to live with it! With every passing moment I begin to steadily drown in a pool of ‘self created sorrow’. I simply submit myself to fate – It was probably bound to happen.
As I dwell over the unfortunate event, my mind reaches a tipping point, where it fails to absorb any further stress. I walk down the street, to sip a cup of tea. A mundane task to deviate my self-indulgent soul. As a gulp of hot tea trickles down my throat, I feel better. For once, I begin to enjoy the warmth of tea. It’s an intentional approach to deviate my shattered mind. The effect is short lived. In a few minutes I’m back to being my sulking self.
As I return home that evening, my mind is still embroiled in sketching my story of self-defeat. My mother at once unravels my state of mind. A question is all it takes, for me to shed my share of grief. We sit at length discussing the issue. She doesn’t advice, she never does. As we speak, my rational mind slowly begins to recover from deep slumber. I for once start to think. It’s encouraging and life is less painful. After a long conversation with my mother, I slowly begin to create affirmative solutions to my shattering problem. My heart still aches, but I have begun to live with it. There is a realisation that I need to deal with it. I begin to gather my scattered thoughts. An ounce of motivation from my mother and I reaffirm the belief in myself.
As I retire to bed that night, I am still hurt but geared to handle the problem. There is a sense of growing confidence, stemmed by anger. An emotional mind can also be a source of motivation. I realise that this experience has only strengthened my resolve to prove my mettle!
When the mind is shattered, feel the pain, understand your emotions and resolve to fight back.
It’s not great to feel shattered, but there are some such dark moments that may define our lives. We need to face it and emerge victorious.
I leave you behind with a quote by Confucius, The Chinese Philosopher:
“ Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall”.
Arise from the dust like a phoenix and thou shall define the resilience of the human spirit!
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